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At my infusion appointment the other day, one of my nurses said that she hopes I won’t need to come for infusions for the rest of my life. She said, “As much as we love you, we also really want you to be able to have a life.” But I told her that these infusions are the reason I am able to live my life. I am willing to do whatever my body needs me to do so that I can live my life. ⠀⠀ Before I started getting infusions, I was practically bed-bound. Now, I’m running my own business. I’m able to exercise. I spend time with my friends nearly every week. I take walks at the park. I go shopping. I cook my meals and have dance parties in the kitchen while doing so. ⠀⠀ Not every day is energetic and perfect, but I am so grateful for this life I’m living. And if getting infusions three times a week means I get to live it, then it’s worth it. It’s worth spending my time sitting at the infusion center. My well-being is worth the effort. ⠀⠀ I am worth the effort ❤️
Rest is a basic human need, and yet so often we deprive ourselves of it. We think we need to do x, y and z in order to earn the right to rest. When we do make time for rest, we feel guilty. We feel like we should be doing something else. We feel bad about ourselves for needing more rest than other people seem to need. And as we spiral into these thoughts, our rest times don’t end up feeling very restful at all. • These beliefs about rest are internalized messages that have been programmed into us since childhood. It may seem like self-sabotage, but in fact it’s not. When these messages interfere with our ability to enjoy and savor rest, it is the subconscious mind attempting to keep us on track. To keep us productive, which makes us more “acceptable” in our society and thus ensures our survival. The aspect of us that is in resistance to rest is not bad. It is not dysfunctional. It is essentially a primal survival mechanism (much like the fight or flight response) that is no longer serving us. We don’t need to demonize this aspect. We don’t need to label ourselves hopelessly “Type A.” We can learn to work with this aspect and reprogram our inner dialogue. •⠀⠀ We can learn to love rest, and allowing ourselves to fully surrender to that rest will allow us to heal ❤️
I used to think that using props meant that I was weak. That I couldn’t handle the full expression of the pose and therefore was less than. That I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough. That I needed to practice more. That my body would get used to it. No pain no gain, right? ⠀⠀ Wrong 🤦🏻‍♀️ ⠀⠀ I realized that yoga isn’t about touching your toes. It isn’t about pushing your body so hard that you’re gasping for breath. It’s not about “no pain no gain.” ⠀⠀ It’s about creating space in the body. Finding ease and freedom in our movement. We use our practice to challenge and stretch the body, but we don’t want to push ourselves so far that we’re no longer able to breathe. Yoga isn’t about trying to fix our bodies or force them into a particular shape. It’s about feeling good in our bodies in the present moment. ⠀⠀ Using yoga props can actually help us to achieve this goal. They can help us to practice safe alignment. They can help us to feel more comfortable. They can help us to create more space and freedom. ⠀⠀ Props are not a crutch. They are a tool. Using them allows you to honor your body and make your practice your own. And in my opinion, that’s a super yogic thing to do 💜 ⠀⠀ Do you use props in your yoga practice? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments 👇🏼
Two months ago, I hosted my first online yoga retreat. ⠀⠀ To be honest, I was a little nervous 😬 I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it with my own chronic symptoms. Wasn’t sure anyone would care about doing a ten day yoga retreat in bed. Maybe this whole idea was just too weird. ⠀⠀ But I was clearly worried for nothing! 😅 You guys made this retreat awesome! I loved getting to connect with those of you who participated, and the feedback the retreat received blew me away. Getting to witness your breakthroughs, the chakra opening and healing experiences, the coming home to the present moment. The energy of this retreat was incredible! ⠀⠀ So I’ve decided to re-open this retreat as a self-paced offering 🤗🎉 If you didn’t get to join us the first time around, you can sign up at the link in my bio 👆🏼And feel free to DM me with any questions. ⠀⠀ I am so grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for supporting my work and for taking this journey with me 🙏🏼💕
#ThrowbackThursday to when I used to be a vintage fashion blogger 💁🏻‍♀️ ⠀⠀ This was before my chronic illness began to interfere with my daily life. I loved curating vintage ensembles, posing for photos and writing posts. I even had an Etsy shop where I sold some of my vintage finds. At the time, I was still in college, so when my symptoms became too much to manage, I had to give it up in favor of focusing on my studies. ⠀⠀ A lot of what I learned during my time as a fashion blogger was put to use when I started Sleepy Santosha five years later. Isn’t it amazing how life prepares us for what’s to come? ⠀⠀ I may not be a fashion blogger anymore, but I still love vintage clothes. One of the ways I practice self-care daily is by wearing a cute outfit. I find that it helps me to feel more confident and energized 😊✨
Your body wants to heal just as much as you do. Every aspect of your physiology desires wholeness and equilibrium. • Think about it. Whenever you get a cut, the body automatically begins stitching the skin back together. Whenever there is a change in the external environment, the body will adapt in order to maintain equilibrium. Whenever the body detects a foreign invader, the body fights to eradicate it. Problems arise when these natural functions are impeded through no fault of your own and through no fault of your body. Even when it seems like things have gone wrong, your body is constantly working to keep you alive. And the same can be said for mental illnesses. • Healing is all about integration, and the mind and body are always going to push for that integration. Your body wants to be healthy. You and your body are on the same team. • • #bodyacceptance #bodylove #bodypositivity #yogaforeveryone #spoonieyoga #spoonie #chronicillnesswarrior
Healing the toxic relationship I had with my body did not happen overnight. And it is still a work in progress. Like any relationship, it requires daily commitment, compassion, practice and presence. And the better it gets, the better it gets. The easier it is to be kind to myself and my body. The easier it is to dismiss negative thoughts. • When we are accustomed to thinking negative thoughts about ourselves and our bodies, it can be really difficult to break those thought patterns. I get so many comments from people who tell me things like, "I know I shouldn't hate my body, but it's really hard not to." And I totally get it. Changing these negative thinking patterns and healing the relationship with your body takes time, practice and patience. These thoughts are the result of unconscious beliefs that have essentially been programmed into us from a young age. So please don't be hard on yourself if you are struggling to integrate positive messages about yourself and your body. • Awareness is always the first step toward change. Becoming conscious of the thoughts we have allows us to get a good look at what's going on inside the mind. From there, we can begin questioning these thought patterns and limiting beliefs. And eventually, we can find ways of releasing them. This is a journey, and it can feel like hard work, so please be kind to yourself. There is no rush. Once you start this process, it will unfold naturally, so you don't need to try and force anything. • Tomorrow I am uploading a brand new yoga class to my membership program called “Yoga to Befriend Your Body.” This class is a part of this month’s Healing Body Betrayal series. If you sign up for the free week trial at the link in my bio, you can get access to this class and the rest of the series. I’d love to support you on your journey ❤️