HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES TO REDUCE FATIGUE

In this video, I’m going to share some energy protection techniques that will help you reduce fatigue. Even if you don’t identify as an empath, I’d encourage you to try these techniques to see if they help reduce your fatigue.

Mentioned in this lecture:

Organite Pendant
Using Physical Sensations to Connect with Emotions
Healing Body Betrayal
Awaken the Inner Healer PDF

You can also download this lecture here.

AUDIO TRANSCRIPT:

In the last lecture, I gave you a list of signs you might be an empath. In this video, I’m going to give you some tips for reducing empath fatigue. Even if you don’t identify as an empath but you do experience fatigue, I would encourage you to give these techniques a try and see how they work for you.


I personally identify as an empath, and the energy protection techniques I’m going to share with you here are things that I have used myself and have seen good results with.


  1. WEAR ORGANITE

A few months ago, I started wearing an organite pendant. They’re usually made with black tourmaline, which is a protection stone. And let me tell you, this has made a HUGE difference in my energy levels. Organite vibrates at a very organized sort of frequency, so it purifies the energy around you when you wear it. So instead of tuning your frequency to the energy of the people around you, you’ll be better able to stay in your own energy. I will leave an Amazon link in the lecture description so you can check this out. I love this because I don’t have to be consciously thinking about energy protection when I’m going about my day.


2. CREATE A PROTECTIVE BUBBLE

In your meditation practice, you can visualize a protective cocoon of white light surrounding you, or it can be any color you like. You’re essentially creating an energetic forcefield that repels negative energy and only allows in the positive.

Like I mentioned in the last lecture, it’s not necessarily that you’re absorbing the bad energy of others or that their energy is attacking you. But this visualization still works because it’s raising our vibration from the frequency of powerlessness to the frequency of empowerment and self-protection. It firmly anchors you in your own energy. Even just a couple minutes of this visualization can work wonders.


3. LISTEN TO MUSIC

I used to really struggle with feeling overstimulated when I would go to loud, crowded places like the grocery store. So I started putting headphones in and turning up my music loud enough so that I couldn’t hear the other noises. This helped me to focus on the task at hand and made me feel less anxious. I would highly recommend doing this. Music is frequency. I talk about this in more depth in the Awaken Your Inner Healer PDF guide which you can grab on the downloads page. But music is a great way to tune your frequency to a higher vibration. It doesn’t matter what kind of music is as long as its something that makes you feel good.


4. CLEANSE YOUR ENERGY FIELD REGULARLY

Again, this is all about raising your energetic frequency and creating a sense of empowerment. There are so many ways we can achieve this. You could burn sage or frankincense or use sage or frankincense essential oil to purify the energy of yourself and your home. Our thoughts vibrate at their own unique frequencies, so you could use meditation: white light visualization is a good one, so is any sort of chakra meditation, the purple flame meditation I’ll be sharing with you later this week, yoga nidra would also be a good practice for this. Pranayama will also purify your energy - Breath of fire, breath of joy, or even just full, slow deep breaths. Bioenergetic shaking is also a good technique for this because it helps move prana.


5. SET BOUNDARIES 

If you haven’t listened to my boundaries lecture, go do that after you finish this one. As empaths, it is especially important for us to set boundaries. Say no to the things that create unnecessary stress in your life. Be picky about the people you allow to share space with you. 


6. PRACTICE SELF CARE

Take care of your physical body. Take care of your mental and emotional health. Self care needs to become a non-negotiable in your daily life. Self care doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to take a long time. But it can take a long time if you want or need it to. Find a daily routine that works for you, and if you’re looking for ideas, check out the Refreshed ebook on the Tribe downloads page. For me, the first couple of hours of my day are completely devoted to self care, and I give myself time to check in throughout the day too. It’s honestly kind of like I’m mothering myself and taking care of myself the way I would a small child. I’m high maintenance, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. When I make myself a priority, I am better able to serve others. 



7. CREATE SAFETY

Empaths are prone to anxiety and feeling like we’re being attacked and like we need to be on high alert all the time. So we need to start creating an environment of safety for ourselves. So I want you to make a list of all the things and activities that make you feel safe. These can be really simple things, and I’ll give you some of my own examples to help you get started:

sounds that make me feel safe are the sound of the furnace kicking on in the winter, the sound of a train horn, music that resonates with what I’m feeling in the moment, thunder storms

smells that make me feel safe are the smell of burning leaves, the smell of baked goods, cinnamon, lilacs, the scent of rain

I also feel safe with the feeling of soft fabrics against my skin, having my skin caressed by someone I love and trust, being wrapped up in a blanket, wearing clothes that make me feel good

Reading a book that I’ve read before

Holding a cup of hot tea in my hands

Eating warm bowls of my favorite foods


Once you have your list, you can go back to it in times of stress and create that feeling of safety for yourself in the present moment.


It’s important to understand that empaths aren’t the only ones affected by energy. Everyone is. It’s just that empaths are more sensitive to and more aware of that energy. When you work on raising your vibration and protecting your energy, you’re also raising the vibration of the collective. So this is important work you’re doing here, not just for yourself and your own empowerment, but for everyone around you too.


Thank you so much for being here with me today.

I hope these tips and tricks have been helpful. If you have any questions or would like to discuss what I’ve talked about in this lecture, please head over to the private Facebook group. I love getting to dive deep with you.


I’ll talk to you again soon. Namaste.









ARE YOU AN EMPATH?

Today we are going to talk about the extrasensory gift of empathy. And I think a lot of us in this community and in the chronic illness community in general are highly empathic people. We’re highly sensitive, compassionate, and tend to take on the burdens of the people around us. We’re natural-born healers and nurturers. We care about people so deeply. But whenever we are unconscious of this gift, whenever we don’t know how to use it properly, it can become a detriment to us.


You can also download this lecture here.


AUDIO TRANSCRIPT:

Today we are going to talk about the extrasensory gift of empathy. And I think a lot of us in this community and in the chronic illness community in general are highly empathic people. We’re highly sensitive, compassionate, and tend to take on the burdens of the people around us. We’re natural-born healers and nurturers. We care about people so deeply. But whenever we are unconscious of this gift, whenever we don’t know how to use it properly, it can become a detriment to us.

So here are some signs you might be an empath:

People have called you “highly sensitive” or “too sensitive”

You experience emotions deeply and intensely, perhaps even more so than others

You cry easily

When you walk into a room, you can feel the energy of the room - you can sense if there’s tension even if no one is saying anything

You can feel the emotions of others as if they were your own happening inside your own body

If someone you love is sick, you might start experiencing the same symptoms

You dislike crowded places and loud noises and are prone to sensory overwhelm

You have sensitive skin and prefer to wear soft fabrics

You’re very particular about your home environment and the feng shui of the room you are in. 

You can’t watch the news or watch violent movies.

You have strong intuition and sometimes just “know” things

You’re good at reading people

You may be a trauma or abuse survivor

Everyone is a little different, so you might not have all of these traits, but if you found yourself nodding to most of them, chances are, you’re an empath.

Many empaths also have poor ego-boundaries, which we talked about in the last lecture. If you haven’t listened to that lecture, please go back and check it out.

When empaths have poor ego-boundaries it becomes a huge drain on our energy because we’re walking around without any protection.

Everything in this universe vibrates at a unique frequency, including humans, animals, plants, inanimate objects, food, music, everything. Empaths are highly sensitive to energetic frequencies. A lot of people will describe being an empath as though we’re absorbing the energy of other people like a sponge. But that’s not quite accurate. What’s really happening is that when we have poor boundaries, when we aren’t firmly anchored in who we are, what happens is that we will unconsciously tune our own frequency to match the frequency of what is surrounding us at the moment. And this can be a detriment when those frequencies are lower vibrational frequencies like fear, illness, powerlessness and lack.

Empaths are highly susceptible to fatigue and illness because we’re being constantly bombarded by all of this energy and it can become overwhelming for our bodies. Instead of vibrating firmly in our own frequency, things become disorganized and chaotic. And it feels like we’re taking the weight of the world on our shoulders.

So it’s really important for us to be conscious about the people we’re spending time with. The foods we put in our bodies, the music we listen to and the media we consume.

Our high sensitivity can make us vulnerable, but it can also become a superpower when we learn how to use it consciously. And that’s what we’re going to be talking about a little bit more in the next lecture.

BOUNDARIES FOR BEGINNERS

In this lecture, I’ll be discussing what boundaries are, why it’s so difficult to set them, and how to know if/when you should be setting them. This lecture ties in with the Foundations of Yoga lecture about the Ego, so you might want to watch that video first.

Mentioned in this lecture:
Healing Body Betrayal Program
Foundations of Yoga

You can also download this lecture here.

AUDIO TRANSCRIPT

I can pretty much guarantee than anyone with a chronic illness has a problem with setting personal boundaries.

I talked about this a little bit in the journaling exercises that go along with the Healing Body Betrayal Program. You can find that on the Tribe Downloads page, and I’d highly recommend you working through those journaling prompts if you haven’t already.

So let me tell you why I’m so sure that anyone with a chronic illness will also have boundary problems.

Most of what we experience in our physical daily lives is a manifestation of the subconscious mind. Allow me to repeat that. Most of what we experience in our physical daily lives is a manifestation of the subconscious mind. This includes physical illness. And like I said, it isn’t something consciously manifested. That means it isn’t really our fault, so I hope that you won’t take what I’m about to tell you as a personal accusation or blame. Because that’s not my intention. My intention is to share this information so that it can shine the light of awareness on what’s going on so that ultimately you can feel more empowered to take control of your life. As with everything I share through Sleepy Santosha, keep in mind that we are all unique. So just take what resonates for you and leave what doesn’t.

So what happens is a lot of us grow up in families where we quickly learn that it isn’t okay for us to say no to things. It isn’t okay for us to want the things we want. It isn’t okay for us to feel the way that we feel. We have to adhere to the family narrative. We have to do what pleases our parents even if they’re things we don’t want to do. So we internalize these messages and we grow up believing that doing what everyone else wants us to do, unconditionally serving other people, is what makes us a good person.

We become self-sacrificing adults who can’t ever say no to anyone without feeling guilty. We have no sense of self-preservation. And really we have no sense of self. Because we’ve given all of our power away to other people.

But our bodies always have our backs. That’s really important to understand. So our illnesses become a subconscious manifestation of the part of us that feels like it’s not okay for us to say no to things. But we’re slowly losing ourselves by not saying no. So the body takes over. The body manifests symptoms that give us a legitimate reason to say no to the things we don’t want to do.

But then a lot of times we bulldoze ourselves into doing things we don’t want to do anyway because we still don’t think it’s okay for us to say no even if we’re so exhausted and symptomatic that it feels like we’re dying in slow motion. So the symptoms just keep getting worse and worse and worse.

I’d encourage you to pay attention to your symptoms the next time you’re faced with a commitment that you aren’t excited about committing to. Notice if the symptoms flare up. Notice what the body is trying to communicate with you.

This isn’t to say that our illnesses aren’t real or that they’re purely psychosomatic. But for every physical illness, there are always physical, mental and energetic components contributing to it. We need to address the illness from every possible angle in order to experience healing.

And I can say with complete confidence that if you’re not setting boundaries, it is making your chronic illness worse. Because you’re saying yes to other people and saying no to yourself. You’re not taking care of yourself in the way that you deserve to be taken care of.

And the body is so so wise. So your body is stepping in and taking over and screaming at you to start making yourself a priority. And those screams are going to keep getting louder and louder until you start paying attention.

Setting boundaries can be a difficult thing for us to learn to do, but in reality, it’s really quite simple.

The word no in and of itself can be a boundary.

But it isn’t just about saying no to other people. It isn’t about pushing other people away. It isn’t vindictive or cruel. 

Boundaries are simply the things that define us as separate sovereign individuals. 

This can be as simple as saying “I like rock and roll music” or “I’m really into yoga and spirituality”

That’s a boundary because it clearly defines what you like. And expressing these kinds of boundaries, this kind of authenticity can actually bring you into closer connection with other people who share your common interests and life goals.

It could also be something like “I like getting enough rest so I can feel energized.” 

This boundary is going to dictate your behavior. So you might decide not to go to a work party late at night. You might say no to helping a friend move house. You might not answer the phone when your overbearing relative calls. Because instead you’re saying yes to rest. You’re saying yes to yourself

Boundaries are unique to everyone. And they can be flexible. They can change overtime because we as individuals change over time. 

In our foundations of yoga series, we talked about the ego and how the ego is our separate sense of self. That it’s main concern is survival. 

Boundaries are a tool that defines the ego, or the self. If you remember from that lecture video, we aren’t seeking to eradicate the ego, but rather to purify it. 

And setting boundaries, getting clear on who you are, what you like, what you don’t like is really a first step to purifying the ego and figuring out who you are, what you want in life and what your highest soul’s purpose is.

Without an ego. Without personal boundaries, we die. We literally die. Because we don’t have that healthy sense of self that feels worthy of life. Without that, we lose the ability to protect and defend ourselves. And ultimately, we lose the will to live.

If we wanna make this extreme, we can think about a life or death situation. Or an abusive situation. A person with really weak personal boundaries, with no sense of self or self preservation, someone who feels like their emotions aren’t valid someone who is always prioritizing the needs of other people over themselves, They’re going to develop a sort of learned helplessness. If they get into a situation where someone else is threatening them, threatening their wellbeing, they might just roll over and feel like they have no right to defend themselves. Like they have no power.

Another scenario would be that the person will end up developing a chronic illness that feels like slow torture because the body is still fighting for survival even when they aren’t.

If you’re constantly giving your power away to other people, there won’t be anything left for you.

You came into this life for yourself. Your life belongs to you. And you get to decide what is and isn’t right for your life. You are the captain of this ship. You are the author of your story. 

I want to reiterate that if this is you, it’s not your fault. Whenever we develop patterns like this, it’s always rooted in some kind of trauma, usually trauma that happened in childhood. I know many of you have reached out to me and told me that you’re abuse survivors, trauma survivors. And I want you to know that I’m right here with you. Changing these patterns is hard work, but awareness is the first step. Once we become aware of them, it gives us the power to change them. So it’s not your fault, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay powerless to it.

So you may be wondering how do I know when and if I should be setting a boundary?

And I think the best way for you to learn how to answer this question for yourself is to get really in touch with your emotions. 

Self sacrifice bending over backward for other people at the expense of ourselves requires us to disconnect from our emotions. So as we’re growing up, learning that it isn’t okay to want what we want, it isn’t okay to say no, we have to disassociate from how we feel in order to do that. We learn that how we feel is wrong and maybe even dangerous because expressing how we feel might get us in trouble.

But your emotions are actually your soul’s built in GPS. Your internal guidance system. They’re there to tell you when you are on the right path or when something in your life isn’t right for you. They’re there to help you get aligned with your highest soul’s purpose.

For me, the first indication that I need to reinforce my boundaries is usually the presence of anger. That feeling of indignation that sort of rises up when something in the external environment isn’t right, and it’s that internal feeling of wanting to say no.

So it’s about learning to honor that feeling. Being able to set boundaries gets a whole lot easier when you learn to validate your emotions.  

If you’re looking for a practice that supports this, check out the guided meditation in the Tribe library called Using Physical Sensations to Connect with Emotions. It’s also in the Healing Body Betrayal program.

So I hope this was helpful for you. I’d love to hear how you’re feeling about what I discussed here, even if you hated it. So head over to the private Facebook group now to chat about it.

And I will talk to you again soon.

HEALING BODY BETRAYAL MEDITATION

This meditation is designed to help you better understand your current relationship with your body and how you can improve that relationship. The practice ends with guided affirmations to help heal the sense of body betrayal many of us with chronic illness and pain experience.

LENGTH: 16 MIN

Click HERE to download with Dropbox.

YOGA TO BEFRIEND YOUR BODY

LENGTH: 60 minutes

ABOUT THIS PRACTICE:
This class offers lots of prop modifications, including chair options to help you create a practice that feels good to your unique and beautiful body.

BENEFITS:
energizing, strengthening, grounding, flexibility

PROP RECOMMENDATIONS:
Two yoga blocks, a folded blanket and a chair (optional).

POSES IN THIS PR

x sukhasana - easy seated pose
x seated sun salutations
x bharmanasana - table top pose
x parighasana - gate pose variation
x balasana - child’s pose
x adho mukha svanasana - downward facing dog
x tadasana - mountain pose
x high lunge pose
x virabhadrasana II - warrior II
x trikonasana - triangle pose
x uttanasana - standing forward bend
x janu sirsasana - head to knee pose
x matsyendrasana - seated twist
x savasana - corpse pose

RESTORATIVE YOGA TO FEEL SAFE

LENGTH: 40 minutes

ABOUT THIS PRACTICE:
This restorative yoga class soothes the nervous system. These cozy poses allow you to feel safe and supported.

BENEFITS:
relaxing, grounding, calming, relieves fatigue, relieves insomnia

PROP RECOMMENDATIONS:
Practice can be done on the floor or in bed. Grab all of the props, pillows and blankets you have. I’m using a bolster, pillows, yoga blocks and a blanket for this class.

POSES IN THIS SEQUENCE:

x balasana - child’s pose
x baddha konasana - bound angle pose
x parsva savasana - side lying pose

 

 

 

YOGA FOR MIND-BODY CONNECTION

LENGTH: 7 minutes

ABOUT THIS PRACTICE:
This quick and easy seated practice gets you reconnected with your body in a way that allows you to experience your practice without expectations.

BENEFITS:
energizing, calming, gentle stretch

PROP RECOMMENDATIONS:
None required. A folded blanket or bolster under the hips may make the practice more comfortable. Practice can be done on the floor or in bed.

POSES IN THIS SEQUENCE:

x sukhasana - easy seat
x parsva upavistha konasana - half seated wide angle pose with side-body stretch
x janu sirsasana - head to knee pose
x matsyendrasana - seated twist